Super Baby! (has stranger anxiety)

Grandma Kerry warned us this would happen around 9 months, but we were hoping it would be mild. Our sweet, cuddly baby who would happily stick his fingers up anyone's nose or smile at anyone who cooed at him is starting to turn timid. It's heartbreaking, really.

This started last week. Miss Jessica is the consistent daycare lady in Elliot's life and after the first few days he would leap into her arms as soon as we got there, give me a kiss and a smile over her shoulder, and I was off knowing that he was happy. He was always happy to get to daycare. But last week...

I should stop and explain something first for the following to make any sense. At daycare, there are three main ladies in Elliot's life, and their names couldn't be more confusing: Miss Jessica (lead teacher), Miss Jess (other teacher), and Miss Jessie (new, part-time, lovely teacher).

Beginning last week, a slight schedule change meant that Miss Jessie would be the one with Elliot for the last half hour of the day rather than one of the other two. The first day (Wednesday because of trouble getting back from the Minni-apple) we went to pick him up he was crying real tears and his little eyes were red, and he nearly hurt himself straining for us. Heartbreaking. For Miss Jessie, too. He just didn't know her that well.

The next day was the same and she said, "I just don't know what to do to calm him down. I think he just misses Miss Jessica." We felt bad and tried to brainstorm solutions or just let it work it out on its own. The third day, Friday, Brendan just wanted to pick him up early. I did talk to the director about it (Yes, Brendan, sweetie, I'm one of those parents) and suggested that maybe if Jessie and Jessica could have some time in the room together with Elliot before Miss Jessica had to leave, maybe that would help with the transition.

Over the weekend we were curious about how today was going to go. Even more so because when Marcela (known to Elliot certainly, and they have a grand old time whenever they get together) babysat for a couple of hours this weekend to give me some dissertation time, the poor baby was in sad shape by the time we got back. Marcela said that he kept trying to crawl towards the door when we left and he was upset most of the time, though going outside and watching the cars go by seemed to help somewhat. I felt so badly for Marcela because she really loves Elliot and it's so hard to have a sweet baby and not be able to calm him down.

It must just be this stage he's in, I guess? He always was a cuddle-bug. He prefers to be snuggled up most of the time. When he was on the floor playing with his cousin Finn over Thanksgiving, he kept scooching over until he was nearly on Finn's lap while they were each doing their own completely distinct thing. When I was sleeping on the mattress on the floor with him a couple of days recently because he's been sick, even if we're facing away from each other he'll roll and nudge over til his little bum is against my back, give a sweet sigh, and drop back into the deep sleep. The funniest is when he's hanging out between Brendan and me in bed because if he's looking at me, he's got a leg tossed over Brendan. If he's playing with Brendan, he's got an arm on me, just to make sure I'm still there! So yes, he's always been a cuddle-bug. But I wish he didn't find people who are not me and not Brendan so...scary? Does he find them scary? I don't know what's going on in that little head of his.

Anyway, when we went to pick him up today, he was asleep in Miss Jessie's arms, just like a little angel. She said that she was able to come in with the kids she would watch before coming to the baby room to spend about an hour before Miss Jessica had to leave, and it seemed to be working okay.

So, I hope he's good with everyone over Christmas. Just a heads-up in case he isn't. But I hope he is.

Can't wait to see you all!

[The video clip is just a really sweet one we call "Super Baby" because he gets to fly all over the house like that. Brendan just can't resist. Notice the Vikings garb head-to-toe.)

Thanksgiving trip home and a bunch of pictures

Dear Loyal Reader (that would be Marcela)--

I am sorry for not doing a better job keeping up with this blog. We seem to be getting progressively more buried under work, dissertations, sniffles, and the day-to-day...

But we did make it home for Thanksgiving! Thanksgiving itself was lovely, and many of these pictures come from that trip. You see Elliot playing with his cousin Finn, hanging out with Grandpa Tom & Grandma Deirdre, chilling with fun Auntie Sarah, behind bars in a hotel crib in Indiana...and there are a few new pictures not from Thanksgiving but from the same time frame. I didn't mean to post the teeny versions of the pictures but if I go back in to fix it now I fear I'll fall asleep halfway through and not get this posted, so I'm just going to plow on through!

We decided to drive to Minnesota for Thanksgiving, it worked before when Elliot was smaller, why wouldn't it work again? Well, it wouldn't work again because a 9 month old apparently has considerably less tolerance for extreme carseat confinement than a 4 month old does. That poor kid.

We got on the road at about 1 p.m. and it was very slow going with a lot of stops but we were hoping to make up some time when he fell asleep for the night. His sleep was really fractured, though, and every time we stopped at a toll booth, went under bright lights, hit a bump or whatever, he'd wake up and by about 10 he was really strung out so we decided to stop for the night. It was a good decision.

Eventually we made it and had a lovely visit with the Grandparents Miller, and Elliot got to meet his aunt Bernadette for the very first time! We also had a great time with Aunt Sarah Rose, Uncle Tobi, and Cousin Finn who seems to be getting so much bigger every time we see him. We had Thanksgiving dinner at Dad and Deirdre's--the Millers and Sarah came over, too, and then we went to Matt and Liz's huge Thanksgiving blow-out later on that night. Elliot got to see *everyone* and he was just basking in all the attention. Katie was so happy to see him that she fell down the steps and broke her ankle or something, and she must have hit her head too because she decided to report for her Black Friday shift at Kohl's all hobbled.

Grandma Marie was in town for the holiday helping Sarah get her apartment in order now that she's a real grown-up working teacher and she got to spend some good quality Elliot time, too.

I know it's been a while since we'd been home because everyone said Elliot hardly looked like the same person. Tobi said he looked more like a boy and less like a baby, and I suppose it's true. I can hardly believe it, though. He wasn't even born yet this time last year and I feel like he's been with us for so long.

Because the roadtrip was so rough, we decided that Brendan would drive the car back to PA and I'd fly with Elliot. Working out the details of this, though, proved to be quite the task, and we finally made it back about three days later than we meant to.

Boy did they miss him at daycare! Though I do have to mention that they have a new baby there (just on Thursdays) who is younger than Elliot, and I guess our poor little baby is just the tiniest bit jealous. He's used to being the center of attention. (Wonder where he gets that from? I guess the oldest child of two oldest children is probably bound to have some problems.) Normally Elliot spends a lot of time crawling around and playing but I guess the new baby who was getting used to daycare needed a lot of holding and Elliot didn't like it that Miss Jessica had her arms occupied by someone else. Apparently she had to spend a good part of the day with a baby on each hip.

Let's see, what else? We took Elliot to the library today because they have a fantastic children's room with all sorts of toddler-sized tables and toys, puppets and big windows, and cushions to crawl around on. I think we'll be there a lot this winter because already our house is far too small. We met a little German baby named Larry and Larry's mother--isn't it funny how we never exchanged our names, just the babies'? and Elliot kept trying to stick his fingers in Larry's mouth. Then Brendan spent about a half hour just holding Elliot in front of the windows, watching the cars go by.

My advisor told me my dissertation was "close" and I'm working like a crazy person trying to get that done. Oh, how I want to leave it in PA when we come home for the winter break. I guess I'm defending on February 13th--that's a Friday! This can't be a good sign.

Marcela, bless her heart, is coming over to babysit tomorrow afternoon for a few hours. Yay for Marcela.

Hope you're all well. Sweet dreams!

slapdash updates

[First photo is just a nice sweet one where he's showing off the full range of tongue motion from the frenectomy. I'm so glad we had that done. He loves playing around with his tongue! His top tooth hadn't popped through yet in this photo, but his two underneathers were there. Second photo is his new favorite activity that we actively discourage but obsessively supervise because he loves to try to pull himself up on the coffee table and then just lay into it with his teeth. I don't know why he prefers the table over his teething rings to such a great degree. ANYWAY...]

Because I just realized that I'll be away from easy computing for the next week and it's been awhile. We very last-minute decided to load up the kid and all associated stuffs he needs into a rental car and head to Minneapolis for Thanksgiving!

And one Ms. Bernadette Miller will get to meet her nephew for the first time!!

But what Elliot's been up to: he's crawling with a vengeance, pulling himself up on everything stable or not-so-stable he can get his chubby little hands on, really enjoying crumpling up paper and hanging up on his grandparents, chewing on all sorts of surfaces...including ME while nursing and something has to be done about that or we will be weaning really soon and I don't think either of us are ready for that yet. But I'm talking two blood blisters today!

But the bright side of that is that it couldn't happen without his 3rd little tooth, this one on top! His grin looks so different now.

What else? He doesn't whistle anymore, but he clicks his mouth by sucking air down low on one side. That didn't make any sense, but if you see it you'll get what I mean.

Okay, must sign off now because I still have a bit of work to do and then packing, but my next post will be about Thanksgiving with all five grandparents and all six aunts and uncles.

We are blessed, truly.

"Mama won't understand..."

I was in the kitchen cleaning up while Brendan and Elliot were enjoying a nice fall afternoon in the front yard. I heard them come in, I heard Brendan say the quote above, and I walk in the living room to find what these pictures only begin to describe. I've said it before, I'll say it again, the Dustbuster is the single best household purchase ever.

But how can you even be frustrated at that face?

Thoughts on Halloween

And they're going to be brief, because I'm about to toddle off to bed, but...

Oh, what a cute day today was! Elliot has a Nittany Lion costume (Penn State's mascot) and we justified buying it because it's going to be his snow suit, too. It's all plush and furry with paw prints on the feet, a long tail, a hood with little lion ears on it, and it's got a little paw on the bum, too. When I dropped him off at daycare, all the other kids were dressed up, too....there were lady bugs, supermen, spidermen, wizards, princesses, a Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, a bumblebee or two. They invited me back for their Halloween parade, and I'm so glad I went.

Elliot was the only really little one there today, so they had him in one of these indestructible four-kid buggies. He was strapped in, looking as calm as could be, just gazing around at the circus around him. His buggy-mates were a few kids who had disabilities that prevented them from walking very quickly or far, and he looked like such a little man with these older kids! His seat-mate kept patting his head and he took it like the cool customer he is. I'll add pictures to this tomorrow.

You know, I just can't wait for the day when he can burst into the house and yell "Mama!" and grab me around the waist, but I am so in love with this little person he is right now. This little person who recently discovered how to play peek-a-boo when he's wearing one of my winter hats that fall down over his face, or smack his lips like he's trying to blow a kiss, or do this sitting-up scootch that he's adopted as his primary mode of transportation instead of the crawl which usually sends him backwards instead of where he wants to go.

He's darn near perfect, if you ask me.

Growing up so fast...

So much is going on with this little guy. He went to the doctor this week because he's got an ear infection left over from a cold that's a few weeks old. The doctor said he wouldn't have guessed Elliot had an ear infection because he seemed so happy. He does continue to be a happy baby, it's true. We're so lucky.

He always gets a little fussy and right on the borderline of overexcited before bedtime, but he falls asleep most nights between 6:30 and 7:00 with really no trouble at all. Sometimes he rolls right over and falls asleep, sometimes he'll babble and coo until he drifts off, and once in awhile he'll fuss a bit, but never for very long. Miss Jessica reports that he sat up by himself yesterday, but neither of us have seen it, and to this day I remain the only person to have actually seen him crawl. Brendan is starting to doubt my story, but it's true. I think Elliot just figures that he can get where he wants to be more efficiently by rolling or scooting.

And he whistles! Isn't that the craziest thing?

Anyway, I'm really sleepy and not feeling too eloquent, but the real reason I had to post tonight was to show you these videos. The first one is Elliot's first fruit baby-food. His expressions just slay me. You would think he was eating a lemon, from the squints and shudders, but he keeps coming right back for more. The second is just before bedtime when Brendan discovered that a little jump would make Elliot giggle, and a bigger jump would make him giggle more! I think there isn't a nicer sound in the world than baby-giggles.

Hope all is well in your corners of the world. More to come soon....

Put me in, coach!

A cute outfit from Grandpa Tom and Grandma Deirdre!

Quick updates

Sorry I've not been doing a better job keeping up with things here.

In a nutshell:

Elliot has a tooth! I'm thinking by Halloween he'll look like a little Jack-O-Lantern. We've tried but not succeeded to get a picture showing this, but trust me, it's there.

He crawled for the first time! I was the only one who actually saw it, but trust me, it happened. Yesterday morning before daycare. I tried to get him to do it again when Brendan got home, and he got up on his hands and knees with no trouble, but he just sort of rocked front to back and mostly ended up scootching backwards. It's coming, though.

Tonight, this miracle angel-baby just rolled over and fell right asleep when I put him in the crib! No fussing, no nothing. I've got a much longer post about the general topic of "sleep training" coming up, but I just wanted to say at least this much. He's been going to sleep in his crib for one week exactly tonight. It's really different around the house when things are regular like this. It's almost totally good, but I do realize that we (or I, depending) had some time with him between 7 p.m. and when I went to sleep, so in a way this feels a little lonely, too. But mostly it's just good. He needs his sleep, and he's getting it. Go Elliot!

Brendan's friend from MIT is coming to visit for the weekend and meet Elliot. It should be a lot of fun. Hesky was one of Brendan's groomsmen in the wedding, and he moved to NYC to work for google maybe a year ago, but this will be the first time we've gotten together.

[Note to Mike & Carl--it is possible, and not even inconvenient, to come visit from New York for a weekend on Amtrak. We'd LOVE to see you! :) ]

That's about it for now; we hope you're all doing well. If you're reading this, we miss you!

(I added a few recent, random photos...)

We love solid foods!

We are working on the solids. I feel maternally deficient as far as that goes, though, because all the other 7-month-olds are eating a wide variety of fruits and vegetables and cereals, and our guy gets oatmeal or rice cereal mostly when we feel like it and have the time and inclination to deal with the mess. And what a mess it is. He's such a good little helper that he insists on controlling the spoon himself. Sometimes it even works!

The picture is of him "eating" this teething biscuit. He goes crazy for them because I think they make his gums feel better--he's got his first tooth fixing to pop through one day soon now--and also because he gets to hold it himself. These are a treat we like to save until just before bathtime.

I'd like to take a half a day sometime soon here and make a bunch of baby food to freeze in ice-cube trays. You can pop the cubes out and keep them in freezer bags to heat up one at a time whenever you need them. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Frenectomy

(That's "tongue-clipping" to those of you who never had to deal with this and would have no reason to know what it's called.)

(Picture is unrelated but fairly recent and painfully sweet.)

(I resolve to stop talking in the parenthetical!)

One thing we've been thinking about since Elliot was born is whether or not we should have this done. The doctors said he was "a little bit" tongue-tied. This means that the little piece of skin that connects the tongue to the bottom of the mouth is longer than most kids. His wasn't too bad, but he couldn't stick his tongue out very far, and when he did it looked a bit like the top of a heart.

For some babies, it interferes with nursing. We saw a lactation consultant who recommended that we get the frenectomy done, though he was doing okay with eating. Other concerns about tongue-tie include possible speech impediments (though many kids with tongue-tie compensate in other ways and don't have anything noticeably different about their speech) and difficulty doing things like licking ice cream cones. Or French kissing. And you know with Obama making kindergartners learn everything about sex by the time they're five, he's going to need to be able to do that, well, any day now!

A lot of people take a wait-and-see approach. I don't think there's anything wrong with going that route because why subject your kid to a surgery (of the most minor kind, but still surgery) he doesn't need? Especially if he's nursing fine as evidenced by the below-the-mean-but-still-perfectly-fine weight gain?

We went back and forth on this and it wasn't made easier by the professionals we consulted. I guess it's quite controversial, though I never would have guessed beforehand. The lactation consultant said we should, his pediatrician said there was no reason to, the ear-nose-throat doctor said it was elective because Elliot's tongue-tie was a "5 out of 10" and he said he didn't know what he'd do if it were his own child.

So we read and read and talked and talked, and in my reading I came across a message board about tongue-tie that had a bunch of teenagers writing about having it. I saw so many comments about wanting to get the surgery, wishing they'd had it, feeling awkward on dates, getting teased...we knew, too, that if you're going to get it done, the earlier the better because they have more time to get used to the new movements, it can be done without general anaesthesia when they're babies, and if there are going to be any problems with a gap between the bottom front teeth, it's better to do it before they have those teeth.

For all those reasons, we decided to go ahead with it. He had it done today! My poor sweetie. The thing I hate about anything that's going to cause him pain (e.g., vaccinations) is that it's impossible to explain to him beforehand what's going to happen. So Brendan did me a great favor and left me at home for the morning.

Everything went really, really well. Elliot slept for most of the hour and a half drive to the place that does it, and he was fussy by the time they got there because he wasn't supposed to eat anything for two hours prior. They had to immobilize him in a sheet and Brendan had to leave the room--that part sounded awful. Brendan said he could hear him crying but that the whole thing took about two minutes. Then Brendan came back, Elliot went to town on his bottle, and he was cooing by the time they called me.

When they got back, Elliot seemed to be in great spirits and was busy experimenting with sticking his tongue out in ways he couldn't before. It was adorable.

I was planning on staying home and not sending him to daycare because I thought he'd be fussy and sore, but he seemed to be neither (they gave him Tylenol before sending him home) so we brought him in to play with his friends for a few hours.

All in all, I think everyone in the house is happy with the decision, though to be fair I have to acknowledge that by the time we can ask Elliot about this he won't be able to remember it.

The Week in Review

This is what we think of cell phone bills.

Anyway...

There aren't a whole lot of updates, really. This was just a pretty normal week. Peanut continues to amaze us all by growing several inches a day.

We continue to make progress toward the family goal of Finishing Grad School. Brendan and I both met with our committees this week, though mine was less formal. Apparently I'm going to be defending my dissertation on December 9 or 10. I suppose this means I better get to finishing it!

Elliot is doing really well in daycare. We are so lucky to have found this place. He's finally napping well there and seems to relish sucking on a toy giraffe. One day this week I dropped him off and then peeked in the window where I saw Miss Jessie dancing with him. It was such a sweet sight that I teared up.

He really seems to have an extraordinary focus. I'm going to try to get a short video clip of him in the bathtub. It's so funny--what he wants to do in the tub is KICK. You can't catch his eye, he doesn't smile, doesn't cry, doesn't do anything but stare at those feet and he'll go until I take him out because he's winded. The other day I went to check in on him while he was asleep (on a futon mattress on the floor) and he was awake and creeping towards a bottle I'd left on the floor. He was so intent that he didn't react to the door opening.

We're making slow but steady progress on the solid foods. So far he just eats single-grain oatmeal and rice cereal--the pediatrician says he should be having about 9 tablespoons a day, but we're lucky to get 6 because it takes so long and such a small amount makes it into his mouth anyway. But he's a great helper, grabbing the spoon and shoving it whichever-way-up in the general direction of his mouth.

Well, folks, I think that's about it! Hope you all are doing well and enjoying your weekends...

6-month stats

We had Elliot's six-month "well-baby" check-up yesterday. The stats:

Height: 27.75 inches (84 percentile)
Weight: 17 lbs. 2.1 ounces (35 percentile)
Head: 45.8 cm. (92 percentile)

What this means is that we have a tall, thin baby with an oversized head. Actually, his numbers are all in a good range and we figure the head size is just to contain the massive brains he clearly possesses. The only number that really surprised us was his weight because to me he's a little chunk, but I guess most babies are even more so!

Anyway, he's doing really well on his milestones--he's babbling and getting better at sitting up without help (still shaky) and he's so close to crawling that I bet that's coming in the next few weeks. He can't quite get his little round tummy up off the floor so for now he rolls or creeps to get where he wants to go. This weekend is going to be filled with baby-proofing. Thank God dust bunnies are mostly non-toxic.

In other news, we're still sick. Brendan's got the worst of it, and I thought Elliot was getting over it, but he's been cranky and stuffy all day so far. Maybe it's just from the shots he got yesterday or maybe the cold is still hanging on. We are doing a spaced schedule with his vaccinations, meaning that he gets almost all the standard vaccines but instead of getting them every other month, he gets half the amount every month. It means a few more shots overall and more appointments, but we decided that was preferable to getting all that stuff into his system at once.

Oh, and one more thing! It seems that he can recognize his name now, but it also seems that he thinks his name is Peanut. If we say, "Hi, Elliot!" he'll continue doing whatever he was doing, but if we say, "Hi, Peanut!" he'll look at us. Guess we should've seen this coming, but we've called him Peanut ever since we found out I was pregnant.

Everyone's sick...

Normally it's the week *after* a big stressful time when we all get sick, but this time some bug got us even though I have an important meeting to get ready for on Wednesday and Brendan's got an even bigger one on Friday.

Captain E. doesn't have a meeting, but he does have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 4. He's doing better than any of us, finally, but the last few days have been really hard on him. His nose has been so plugged or runny that he's been having troubles eating or sleeping very much at a time. As I write this, though, he's conked out upstairs, as is his father, and I'm on my way up to join them!

So big!

I can't stand how quickly this kid is growing! It seems just like yesterday when he looked like this:



And now he's such a big boy! He rolls and rolls like it's nothing at all, and he's closing in on being able to sit by himself. Right now he does what they call "tripoding." Diaper changing has become an ordeal because he simply prefers to be on his stomach and now he can make that happen, instantly.

He loves playing soccer:



And spending time in this little activity center that we've come to call "The Office" because he can get such a stern little bossy tone to his voice when he's talking to the turtle and the duck:



Also, today was his second day of daycare. Today went so much better than yesterday did--it was so hard to leave him there that first time. He was happy and curious while I was there, but when I handed him to "Miss Jessica," his lip started to quiver, and there was this wild little toddler who kept making these crashing, banging noises. It was just all too much for Peanut and he started crying. I couldn't leave him like that, of course, so I stayed for about 20 minutes and he was calm, if not happy, when I left. He had a decent day, they told us, marked by intermittent bouts of crying, no good naps, and copious spit-up.

But today I only stayed for a few minutes and it sounds like he had a really good day. Miss Jessica reports that he likes to watch the big kids through the window, playing in their preschool classroom.

We're so lucky to have found this daycare. I know it's only been two days, but we couldn't be happier with it. If we have to leave him with someone who isn't family, the Easter Seals people seem just top-notch.

Some recent pictures

from his sixth month:

okay, clearly I've got a lot to learn about how to post pictures in blogger, so I'm going to come back to this project a little later...

Tomorrow, daycare

Heaven help us all.

Tomorrow, for the first time, we're taking Peanut to daycare. It's just going to be afternoons (12:30-5:30) and I know we need this, Brendan and I need this time, and I think it will be good for Peanut to get the time with caring, loving, competent adults who aren't us.

But jeez, this is hard. Brendan put him to bed tonight--in his own room! And we were laying there, Brendan already asleep, and I couldn't stop thinking about how now he's in his own room and pretty soon he's going to be spending 25 hours of his life every week with these people who are not me and not his daddy.

And I teared up and decided that I needed to get this blog started.

I want to try to back up, as I can, and document important things that happened in his life before this point in time, before he turned six months old! But for now I decided that I needed to get started so I can at least keep things current.

Our darling baby is such a sweetie and I'm crossing my fingers that things go well tomorrow. For all of us!