Monday, December 15, 2008

Super Baby! (has stranger anxiety)



Grandma Kerry warned us this would happen around 9 months, but we were hoping it would be mild. Our sweet, cuddly baby who would happily stick his fingers up anyone's nose or smile at anyone who cooed at him is starting to turn timid. It's heartbreaking, really.

This started last week. Miss Jessica is the consistent daycare lady in Elliot's life and after the first few days he would leap into her arms as soon as we got there, give me a kiss and a smile over her shoulder, and I was off knowing that he was happy. He was always happy to get to daycare. But last week...

I should stop and explain something first for the following to make any sense. At daycare, there are three main ladies in Elliot's life, and their names couldn't be more confusing: Miss Jessica (lead teacher), Miss Jess (other teacher), and Miss Jessie (new, part-time, lovely teacher).

Beginning last week, a slight schedule change meant that Miss Jessie would be the one with Elliot for the last half hour of the day rather than one of the other two. The first day (Wednesday because of trouble getting back from the Minni-apple) we went to pick him up he was crying real tears and his little eyes were red, and he nearly hurt himself straining for us. Heartbreaking. For Miss Jessie, too. He just didn't know her that well.

The next day was the same and she said, "I just don't know what to do to calm him down. I think he just misses Miss Jessica." We felt bad and tried to brainstorm solutions or just let it work it out on its own. The third day, Friday, Brendan just wanted to pick him up early. I did talk to the director about it (Yes, Brendan, sweetie, I'm one of those parents) and suggested that maybe if Jessie and Jessica could have some time in the room together with Elliot before Miss Jessica had to leave, maybe that would help with the transition.

Over the weekend we were curious about how today was going to go. Even more so because when Marcela (known to Elliot certainly, and they have a grand old time whenever they get together) babysat for a couple of hours this weekend to give me some dissertation time, the poor baby was in sad shape by the time we got back. Marcela said that he kept trying to crawl towards the door when we left and he was upset most of the time, though going outside and watching the cars go by seemed to help somewhat. I felt so badly for Marcela because she really loves Elliot and it's so hard to have a sweet baby and not be able to calm him down.

It must just be this stage he's in, I guess? He always was a cuddle-bug. He prefers to be snuggled up most of the time. When he was on the floor playing with his cousin Finn over Thanksgiving, he kept scooching over until he was nearly on Finn's lap while they were each doing their own completely distinct thing. When I was sleeping on the mattress on the floor with him a couple of days recently because he's been sick, even if we're facing away from each other he'll roll and nudge over til his little bum is against my back, give a sweet sigh, and drop back into the deep sleep. The funniest is when he's hanging out between Brendan and me in bed because if he's looking at me, he's got a leg tossed over Brendan. If he's playing with Brendan, he's got an arm on me, just to make sure I'm still there! So yes, he's always been a cuddle-bug. But I wish he didn't find people who are not me and not Brendan so...scary? Does he find them scary? I don't know what's going on in that little head of his.

Anyway, when we went to pick him up today, he was asleep in Miss Jessie's arms, just like a little angel. She said that she was able to come in with the kids she would watch before coming to the baby room to spend about an hour before Miss Jessica had to leave, and it seemed to be working okay.

So, I hope he's good with everyone over Christmas. Just a heads-up in case he isn't. But I hope he is.

Can't wait to see you all!

[The video clip is just a really sweet one we call "Super Baby" because he gets to fly all over the house like that. Brendan just can't resist. Notice the Vikings garb head-to-toe.)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh man, that's rough. i don't want to scare you, but finn has just ever so recently gotten over most of his stranger anxiety. i think he was an extreme case though, because we took him out so seldom. when we were in germany this last time we felt like it was a real problem and consciously decided to get out more often and expose him to PEOPLE!! a socialization program, you could call it. it worked pretty well too, go figure. (right? he wasn't too shy when you guys were here, was he?) anyway, that was a great idea to have him spend some time with miss jessica and miss jessie in the room. glad it worked, and hope it stays that way! and if he's shy with us at christmas, well, we get it...

Anonymous said...

No offense, but Elliot's laugh is sooo much more beautiful than his crying (his crying is just too sad). Don't worry. I didn't take it too personally that I made him cry. I'd rather be hanging out with you guys too! :) I guess it just means that he'll need more regular Marcela-Elliot time. Gosh, darn, shucks.

Anonymous said...

PS- I'm glad his socks are clean again after... "the incident". :)